so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
