Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
