his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
