You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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