this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
