btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
