I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
