he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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