the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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