I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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