You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
