So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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