Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
