I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize