In the future we'll all be gay
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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