season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
