it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
