she was so not down for the gang bang
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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