They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize