When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
