OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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