Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My dick has a subreddit
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
