Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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