Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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