I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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