i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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