so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
