She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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