guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
its liver damage thursday
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
