I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I know her cup size but not her name....
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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