I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
im calling her cock vulture from now on
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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