so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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