I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we have officially lost it.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
