What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
