Can i not drive my cunt home
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The uberlube is also flammable
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
