guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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