so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
