Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
