Nicole vs. Life
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've blown a few things in my day
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
