i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
