U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
