Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
