I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
