My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize