I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
