btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
