This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
