I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize