need another drink. this is the easiest way
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
