I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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