I'm really into asian looking animals
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
