I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
