i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
