i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
