He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
