I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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