I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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