So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
