Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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