i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
