just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
