So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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