after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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