Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
