You smell like stripper and shame
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
where are you?
Hypothermia
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
