i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
