Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Randomize
