he thought i was a dude.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
