so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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