This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
